End of August-how is that possible? Today is my son's first day of Kindergarten, and I can't wrap my head around it. He amazes me every day, and I'm so proud of him as he starts school. Yesterday he was building castles with magnetic tiles, and he would build one and say "Mommy, come look at what I built!" I'd come look, but then he'd say "No-not from up there...Come look at the castle from down here" and he'd get down on his belly. Pretty soon I'm on the ground too, shifting my perspective to take in the wonders of his castle, on my belly, from the ground up.
This made me think of other things that I've had to shift my perspective on lately, and look at them from the ground up. One of those things is the anxiety I started experiencing last August after jumping into Worthy WE full-time. I was gaining speed on workshops, adding individual clients, and starting the busy fall season within our home-life, and it was too much. I started having huge anxiety reactions both at home and at work, until I could no longer function in either space. This was one of the hardest experiences to go through. I had to make some changes in my life, that at the time felt huge and terrifying. I had to shift my perspective on what Worthy WE looked like, and it felt like I'd let myself and others down. Things that helped me then: I scaled back on most of my clients, started taking anti-anxiety medication, went to therapy, did yoga, and leaned into my relationships with trusted people in my life.
Fast forward to the start of this August, and I felt scared that all of these feelings would come back again. All of the "What if's" started to rise up, until my husband wisely invited me to walk into this August believing that it could be different. With a perspective shift, daily practices, and continuing to work on taking care of myself, there could be a different experience. I still have times when I am anxious or not my best self. But I've shifted my perspective into look at these moments as signals to tune into, rather than something innately wrong with me, to push through, or ignore. Things that are helping me now: walking outside, connecting with my trusted relationships, saying no to some things, and being patient with the process of change.
As I work this new perspective, I've learned that honoring myself and being honest about what is working and not working for me is really important. I can go slower. I can work to find balance. I can remember that my worth is not defined by my job. All of these things that I believe, but have to live out, one day at a time. I can shift perspectives and look, from the ground up, and see all of the beauty that is around me.
May we be safe, healthy, have joy, and live in peace.